thepastperfectfuturetense.

2011-03-15T22:25:00.004+08:00

'stare what stare'

HELLO! who stole a cookie from a cookie jar? who, me? yes you! couldnt be! then who? hehehe

Okay, crap.

I know I've not been blogging for like how many gazillion days but yeah, im gonna revive back to the blogging world. say whutttt.

Today was officially my attachment day. I was posted to UCC instead of Esplanade :/ i should have just pretend and told them YES I'D LOVE TO WORK IN THIS LINE just for the sake of attachment. Why hadn't it occur to my mind that I'm gonna be in this shit for 5 months?! Well, so far so good. The people in UCC are nice, friendly and harmless. A lot of things were taught to me and azwan today. We managed to handle the sound board like only the basic stuffs for SYF. & lighting board during the sound check for rockfest. The band was horrendous, btw. So, I gave them shitty lightings. They deserved that, i guess (:

and whatelse. OH OH! We just came back from the beautiful and chillax island of Tioman. Time flies like nobody's business, it was exactly a week ago we bussed and ferried there. WHOA , i dont feel like coming back to singapore. 4 days were too fast to end things :<>

Came back looking like a lobster. I mean skin wise. my skin is peeling hell yeah. But after applying creams and aloe vera , im reviving back my original skin. BEAUTY, REGAIN.

aiya, anything just see my facebook or twitter and get updated about me. chey like bigshot like that! but i really lazy to blog.

HI CHRIS IF YOURE READING THIS, I JUST WANNA SAY ... dsnnfasndfkjdILOVEYOUSOMUCHksdjfkajsfkdsf

bounce! (hehehehe)

2010-10-20T13:23:00.001+08:00

I kinda miss the bond we shared. I mean, who wouldn’t miss that comfortable feeling with a person. Where we could talk for hours about everything, anything and not have a problem with the silence in the middle. Can’t forget all the ridiculous stuff we did. Stupid or not, everything was just so fun. Endless nights, real talks, the “remember whens” I remember it all. And it’s funny what life does, how it could just give you things and take it away so soon. I really can’t get it to my head that you grow distant from people and that good things come to an end sooner or later. But along the way I learned one thing about life; it goes on, you just gotta pick yourself up and learn to keep up.

:'(

I'm done waiting.

2010-10-02T00:08:00.005+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST BESTFRIEND LOVER, CHRISTOPHER GERARD GROSSE. MAY YOU HAVE THE BEST OF YOUR LIFE TOMORROW HEHEH SUPER CAN'T WAIT! ERR, COUNTING DOWN TO LIKE 11 HOURS MORE? YAY! IT'S SIMPLE THOUGH BUT I HOPE YOU WILL STILL LOVE IT AS MUCH AS I'M GOING TO. LOL, I'M SO EXCITED ALREADY! LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH BABY! GONNA MAKE YOU THE HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE TOMORROW HEHEHE. YOU'VE BEEN THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED IN MY LIFE AND WILL ALWAYS BE

*WARMEST HUGS AND SNUGGLES YOUR BELLY*

I LOVE YOU! ♥

2010-09-19T00:13:00.003+08:00

FINALLY BACK TO BLOGGING! okay well, hello world!

exams over way long long time ago and currently, I'm having attachment at esplanade. First week's over. We had long boring day of lectures but with some walking around the venues done too. Orientation on the first day and other than that it was just barely lectures, getting to know people and walk around esplanade to familiarize with the venues. Finally got hold on to my personal esplanade authority pass which can access to all the venues ! backstage theatres, concert hall, studios etc. lol so far, haven't been to the green room yet :<

TODAY was my first attachment. Kena staging together with adrian. Unfortunately, we got theatre and they were doing set up. Instead of observing, we have to actually helped them to carry the heavy stuffs and basically do striking. K uh fun but like a bit tiring lol

for the others, they slack. Slack until don't know how to slack anymore. But overall was okay uh. Met a lot a lot of people. Majority or maybe all working there are malay guys and of course they being the usuals, love joking here and there but they are all nice and friendly people. Can get along, basically :>

Ended earlier today ! So don't have to trouble mum to come all the way to esplanade to send me and li jing home heh (: Still tiring though. Looking forward to other days of attachment. Waiting for the schedule to be out. As for now, rest time and tmr's my off. YAHOO! but still, have to go for raya visiting for maternal's side. Damn sian. Money sake, i'll go hahah

Lovin' this 1 month plus holiday. Really make good use of it man rather than slack/rot at home like pig, I rather go work and socialize. How contradicting. Ohwells, it's fun (:

Hope you guys had fun during your holidays and OH MY WHY DID I FORGOT THIS.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO ALL MY MUSLIM FRIENDS, MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN!

see uh, too busy :p raya pics uploaded at fb. I know it's like too little. Confirm tomorrow spam!

nights y'all.

2010-09-02T06:28:00.008+08:00

So, we had a terrible argument last two nights. I was being super vulgar to grosse and I couldn't like control myself back. Sigh, not only I hurt him, I'm hurting myself too. Tears kept rolling down and I started to feel all agitated and irritated all over. I hate to vent it out to my loved ones :( but, we ought to know that shits happened and people tend to break down at certain point of times.

The tension people around giving us is crazy. However, we managed to talk things out and yes, being all vulgar, blaming each other will never solve the problem. We took some time to be alone and did soul searching, thinking, and get back to one another. Things got way way better and in control. I'm very grateful to have such an understanding, loving, caring and patient boyfriend which I've been yearning for all these while! :)

Both did not have much sleep causing chris to be sick and me to be super sleepy and shagged in school. I slept at 8.30PM last night. Ridiculously early. & after pre dawn meal (like now), I couldn't get back to sleep sigh. I couldn't recall replying to mummy last night. was supposed to wake up at 9.30PM to watch gerimis di hati (HAHAHA), but stupid hp switched off on me :(

A lil sidetracked there.

So, people are like trying hard to wreck our relationship but I want them to know that we love each other deeply. We're not like those couples who just got to know one another and start hooking up in a relationship. We've known each other well enough! which means we have strong foundation to begin with. I know I never like jot down in my blog before but that doesn't mean I don't love Chris as much as he loves me. I tell you now, I love and care for him with all my heart. Personally I feel things like this shouldn't be 'publicised'(but then again depends on individuals) . Prove it by showing it to your loved ones.

Baby, we shall surpass any obstacles as long as we stay strong for one another ♥ Only with you, I feel the utmost comfort (:

-

Hari raya is next week zomg! :O I didn't feel it coming as I was too tensed up with upcoming exams. Worst, I have papers on the eve of raya. There goes my mood :( On a lighter note, I can't wait for second day of raya which equates my open house! Yes, I know it's too soon for the malays but this open house mainly cater to non malays. It's nothing special for the malays themselves anyway lol I mean they can come anytime (: &&& I definitely can't wait to see baby in his virgin baju kurung! HEHEHE

(: Happy mugging and all the best for your exams people!

2010-08-31T23:37:00.003+08:00

It's been quite awhile since I've teared this much. All I want is to be perfect in your eyes but I know I'm just trying too hard so I shall stop it.

The ultimate reason is because I don't want to lose you but God has better plans for me. Sigh.

So long :'<

God, give me strength to face the upcoming days. Give me strength to surpass your challenges. Give me strength to face all the hypocritical moments. Give me strength to face those who hates me whatsoevers. Sigh

2010-08-22T13:48:00.003+08:00

Just as I thought things would turn out to be nice, it starts to stumble.

Tomorrow will be the day of decision and I hope to end this shit as soon as possible. Right now, have to finish up Esplanade's resume.

2010-08-22T00:29:00.002+08:00

Haha I miss gigs. Yes, tell me bout it! So, if nothing came in between, might head down to Esplanada's baybeats final day. Like finally. Been missing baybeats for two years straight already!

The Zozi and Handsome furs are like the must to watch! At the same time, have to start doing photography. Hopefully could capture nice photos there.

So yup! gonna missed terawih tomorrow all in the name of school work! hahah & sucks, my ears aren't getting any better. How to listen to nice music like that :/

Okay, it's not like I'm totally deaf. I'm partially deaf.

Have a good night! x

2010-08-20T21:58:00.003+08:00

Yes, I need to shop for boots :/

So, today was kinda a pretty hectic day for me. I didn't have a good night to begin with. Woke up for pre dawn meal and only get two hours of sleep and got ready to go to bukit batok polyclinic since the CCK's closed down for renovation. Reason being, my ear drum burst again and suspected infection. So like my canal hurts like hell :/ Mood swings here and there. It ain't easy to fast in this kind of situation. Doctor only gave me placebo but whats the point, I'm fasting. Can only consume it at night.

After which we were referred to Clementi polyclinic for the surgery since there are appropriate equipments for the surgery to perform. However, we came slightly late as mum need to finish up her work at her office. Went to consult the doctor again, this time at Clementi. I swear I already felt tired and shagged and just need my bed by then.

Then ... the doc said, they couldn't perform the surgery on me yet as it was so bad and only NUH have the best equipments. Seriously, why cant they just save time and put me in NUH straight? -.- just like last year, it would be so much easier. I hate polyclinics :/ even though it's cheap but then the waiting time is killing me!

& guess what, the earliest they can do is only next FRIDAY. Thanks a lot uh. The pain is already unbearable, you still asked me to wait for another week. It's so bad I can even listen to my own heartbeat, footsteps & of course deafening silence. This is extremely irritating to the power of infinity. Moreover it happens during the fasting month. This is really a test from God :/

OH! Chris came to surprise me at the polyclinic. As soon as I got out from the toilet, I saw him and I was like :O Hahaha silly boy! Told me met ivan la blablabla but there he was standing infront of me. Felt like hugging him after not meeting for 3 days straight but fasting uh HAHAHA God, that really made my day know? lol

me: omg why did you come?! dont have to, you know! I'm okay

Chris: i know i didn't have to come. but i wanted to come and see how you were in my own eyes. I just wanna be there for you as much as I possibly can. like i said, i'll always be there for you no matter what. i love you.

:')

I love you too, hunnyb. Thank you so much. Your presence meant a lot to me and I couldn't stop smiling. Did you caught me blushing? hahah love you muchos! x

gotta rest now. Already feeling the pain. aint gonna take the pills :/

2010-08-19T16:20:00.004+08:00

LOOK AT THAT JUST LOOK AT THATTTTTT! look at year one's compulsory module :<

AND AND ! the one I've just circled! WTH?! curatorial studies and museum studies AHHHH :<

the reason why I studied damn hard for humans all in the name of curatorial studies. What more, it's all under the same chunk! I'm not missing much out right since they also offer photography skills, audio and video editing. What I missed out ALOT and it's like my dream come true is this museum and curatorial studies! :(

Can I like change course now? I know it's like too late but ohwells. I should do something I love than something I don't really like right? I mean that's my passion and I can see my future in there and that's exactly what I wanna do. Aww man :<>

Impossible for me to pursue degree in this similar course without having the basic diploma. I don't know. I am so heartbroken right now :( If only this brain could have thought wisely back then and not contemplating with poly to go. Instead, think of which COURSE to go.

THIS IS SO .. unfair :<

2010-08-14T01:01:00.005+08:00

more pictures in facebook.

Finally lab tests are over and now it's time to study for exams. Lucky only two papers but still ..

Went to watch YOG full dress rehearsal on Wednesday. The way we got our tickets was such a coincidental. So yeah, we were at marina bay promenade on Tuesday coz I was being random to just drop by to Youth Olympic Park and Helix bridge. I know, we are so way beyond time but that's okay :> so as we were chilling around, I spotted someone so familiar. The way he dressed, the way he walked etc and was like omg, isn't that shazni?

Continued walking and at the traffic light, bumped into him. So basically he was involved in YOG opening ceremony and he told us he got a pair of tickets and he wanted to give it to us. Awesome! So yeah, we got our tix and there we were at YOG full dress rehearsal (:

& oh, it sucks. flops here and there. With limited fireworks, fake jacques rogge , no sean kingston etc etc haha that explains why the tix costs 70 bucks. but overall, it's okay. Got to spend time with baby for sure (: & oh, if you guys happen to watch it live or at home, spare a time for half an hour coz the flag parade ceremony gonna take up forever -.- Imagine, calling out the countries one by one from A all the way to Z. No, it doesn't stop there. There's still Olympic anthem with speech GAHHHHHH cannot tahan. People started to leave already, just like us.

This week's been good. Got my photo printed out but I should sharpen it more but whats done is done so whatever. Can't wait for my menses to end so I can join in the fasting together with other muslims and also I won't have to pay back a lot a lot of days like I always used to :p

Happy Fasting to all muslims (I know it's kinda late but hey raya is not tomorrow right?)

MWAH TO ALL :>

2010-08-08T23:11:00.006+08:00

The memories of the JYOF will forever stay in my heart and etched in my mind. Never will I forget this memorable event and one of the most important day for me. Was counting down for the big day and it was finally here. The tension, mixed with excitement was overwhelming. The crowd and supporters were a great bunch of people cheering for fellow torchbearers all the way. Having to take lots and lots of photos with nice people around touches my heart and really, Singaporeans are such a sweetheart.

On top of that, I've made fabulous new friends. This journey gave me the opportunity to make friends with the gorgeous and nicest Singaporeans ranging from as young as my dearest 12 years old torch mate to as old as 60 plus over but hey age doesn't matter. We are all here with one mission, one goal, being so proud to be one of the privileged 2400 torchbearers who will get a hold on the historical torch (:

We were being dropped off one by one every 100m or so according to our running tag numbers. Mine was 2128 and the time was being delayed by abt 10 mins just now. Went down and fellow mates inside bus were giving endless supports and the girls were like " WE LOVE YOU FAEZAHHHHHH" hahaha thats so sweet of them . Dropped off and saw mummy daddy ruiying, hui min and not forgetting my dearest Chris. Ahhh heaven, people that I need were all there cheering me on (:

So my turn came and it was so confusing as many people were like instructing me to do this and that. I was told to slow down but once I slowed down, I was told to keep up with the media truck for them to take a snap shot of me. So, which is which ? Not even a min, had to pass the torch to Christy haha! Things happened too fast. I was like " what? it's just that?!" Got back into the shuttle bus again and shared our thoughts.

Seriously, even though things happened too fast, this memorable event was priceless and something that I'm proud of. I've met nicest people in town and of course get to hold the symbolic torch (: My dearest Sophie, Michelle, Maressa, Christy, Aqilah and the guys, please do keep in touch :> You guys are awesome.

We were dismissed at St Pat's. Went for lunch over at Lagoon seafood @ ECP with the rest. Mummy then dropped Chris and Huimin off at Bugis while me and ruiying headed my house coz we heading out again for shopping haha!

Illuma, bugis street, udders home sweet home. Fucking tiring yet a fun filled with joy day (:

Thanks, whoever, to be part of this.

♥ xx

2010-08-08T00:11:00.002+08:00

11 hours more to get a hold of the historical youth flame.

All the best, Princess! (:

Hope everything will turned out well and smooth. Tomorrow's gonna be fun filled with excitement :>

Oh, check out http://www.singapore2010.sg/public/sg2010/en/en_youth_olympic_flame/en_live_map.html

for details if the flame will be passing by your estate. There will be an icon stated " on the road today " check them out for you might know who's the runners are! May be your long lost friend, neighbors etc (:

HONEY HURRY COME HOME MISSING YOU LIKE CRAZY MWAH!

2010-08-06T00:25:00.004+08:00

(: I love you too baby more than you could ever imagine

Chris*♥

2010-08-03T23:36:00.002+08:00

South east district -.- well, I'm gonna flaunt it! Carrying the 1kg torch relay and run. Maybe I'll just jog heh. It will be much appreciated if anyone of you will be coming down to support the torchbearers . Since it's a public event, go! It's free and it's gonna be a mindblowing event. This memorable event comes once in a million in Singapore. We will never know when Singapore will be holding this kind of event anymore. So please, just make yourself free and come down! Torch will be going over to whole Singapore, so not to worry about travelling (:

Just log on to http://www.singapore2010.sg/public/sg2010/en.html for more info

Tests after tests. Seriously lecturers, aren't you all tired ? My brains are tired. >2 tests per day and it's back to back everyday ! :O Well tmr, another 2 more to come. VT and STM. Hopefully will do well. I know my MTSY sucks core but my DMPT was fine. Seriously, MTSY is never my forte.

OH! Won't be celebrating raya this year. Exams falls on September and straight after that a month attachment at esplanade. No need to work already :/ See you some other time, Steve Madden! speaking of which, got my pay already. It's not a lot but I guess it's a satisfying amount for short days of work (:

Mummy said we gonna buy hari raya clothes after raya itself over at KL so it won't be crowded and expensive. Hahah what was she thinking? but I like her style. People buy hari raya clothes before the actual day, we buy raya clothes AFTER the day lol well, can always use back previous year's clothes. It still fits and nice anyway. Plus my family just celebrate it fully on first day. Standard procedure, morning, raya prayers, home for NASI MINYAK with family! & got dressed up to visit grandma and family gathering (maternal) , another round of NASI MINYAK! & photoshoots and home sweet home. Has always been like that.

Okay raya's like 2 months away. Chill. Gonna rest now. and oh !

someone said " I will never stop saying I love you"

aww, that certainly made my day, hunnyb ♥

2010-08-01T22:26:00.002+08:00

well spent Saturday with ruiying (: before the fun, had to attend YOG briefing at SP's auditorium. As usual, events will never start on time. Instead of 11.30AM, briefing only started at 12PM. The briefing was clear and I am geared up for torchbearer relay (: Mine will be on sunday, 8th August at 11AM. Will be running along Kaki bukit. My station will be at lamp post 23, tag number 2128 (: do check it out! hehe we were even taught on how to handle the media. hmmm spicy yum yum!

After which, lunch with the parents over at west co'z cafe (idk why the coast is being spelled like that). Mummy then dropped me off at Commonwealth MRT otw to clarke quay to meet ry.

Homeclub's for jake sake flea. Nothing much there. The weather was bitch. I got myself a ripped jeans for 15 bucks and ry bought a relaxed denim outerwear for 10 bucks. Good deal! Couldn't stand the weather, we made a move to cine for a quick lunch at kobayashi.

Bumped into jim while on the way to hyped up flea. Super crowded and lots of NP familiar faces since hype and NP got related or somewhat like that. but fuck that. We seriously love digging up stuffs in hope to get something nice. you get the thrill i meant? heh and yuh after much digging, bought myself a relaxed top for 2 bucks. this is the reason why I love fleas too much!

We missed two fleas yesterday. Supperclub's and mount sophia's flea titan. Ohwells we covered that up for a promising ice cream over at united square's udders (:

Yes, chrissy's workplace! He was all tensed up scooping ice cream, serving customers. Upon responding to my call and look at my face, his expression changed drastically. Hahah how cute! It feels like you're dreaming aye? well I'm glad I made your day (:

So we had waffled topped with double scoops of chocolate marshmallows and cookies and a cream and a single scoop of mango sorbet. Only cost us 9 bucks! coz can get 20 percent discount heheh thanks dear !

While baby's busy working, we had a good girl's talk and laugh. Could even catch the jet passing through! Unfortunately, couldnt get to watch fireworks :( After done eating, we made a move to specs shop at united square to get ry to tighten her spec before heading to mac for some fries. Oh! bought made in candy for baby before heading home. So yuh, passed it to him at his workplace and finally home sweet home.

super tiring saturday but was all good (:

Today, nothing much. Did not wake up for religious class. Mummy didn't wake me up :/ went out for lunch at makan shiok, queensway mini shopping and home sweet home. Killed my cravings for cinnamon melts and hot chocolate. Perfect combination for a cold day (:

gotta rest now.

Have a lovely week ahead and do your part by making the weather to behave (:

2010-07-31T00:06:00.003+08:00

pretty busy the whole week. Can vomit blood after looking at my iCal, every single day is totally filled up (EVEN WEEKENDS). a proper update, here it is.

Monday -

No lessons but have to submit undone I&E assignments. Went to school to borrow video camera but actually we could use our MDA video instead -.- so it's like we came to school for nothing. Killed my cravings of clementi's ananas chicken rice. Wah tell you the chicken rice there is fucking good! though it may look so simple, just a rice, chicken and pathetic 1/2 thin pieces of cucumber but it's delish plus worth it! As low as $1.80. More quantity, higher price (:

After lunch, went separate ways. Headed to aries to get baby's new hairband before going to my place to return back equipments. We ended up lazy to go out again and we watched baby genius over at my place till late afternoon and head out back to study for upcoming test at yewtee mac's. Killed another craving for cinnamon melts ! :>

Tuesday-

Lessons as per usual. Finally done with all the topics of MTSY and I understood 40% of the chapter. Must start revising soon (will never be soon). DMPT as usual, boring as ever. 3 hours of lesson, yet he only used 1 hour plus for the lesson, leaving us in boredom for the remaining time. So, met Yan downstairs for a good talk since things get to tense up and shits. As usual, people having issues with me unreasonably and as a normal human being, I, too have my tolerance limit. Enough is enough. Just needed a break and have to go out and take some air. Soul searching etc. At night, had a good argument with mum, ended up, us not talking to each other till the next day. BAD BAD BAD tuesday!

Wednesday-

Sick of every single thing that had happened to me. One thing led to another. One thing branches out to so many things which led me to tension headache, lack of rest (exhaustion) and unfortunately came back my ear problem. Went to the clinic and got myself an MC. Just needed a break to clear things off my mind. Had a good rest and sleep and was woken up by my dad, telling me Chris came over. I thought I was dreaming coz I was ACTUALLY dreaming of him when he came over my house. Perfect dejavu. Chris gave a stupid reason to my dad that he needed to pass me some important school notes. So we kinda acted out a bit! hahah I found that sweet actually. Came all over, otw to workplace just to pay me a surprise visit. Awww(:

super touched. Thanks for the lovely card you made and of course your presence brought me joy. For once, it feels as though all my problems fade away. Thanks love. There's no one in the world who could actually go for an extra mile for me, except you. A true friend, indeed *(:

Had a simple dinner and a good hearty talk with mum which wrapped up my day.

Thursday-

went for a 800m run with chris! hahah ikr! practising for YOG bebeh :>

AVMP lab afterwards. Cheers for an ice cream and home sweet home in mummy's car.

Friday-

super long day! Started off with three hours of VT. Sian -.- ended up he gave us answers coz got no time to finish the practical. Quick lunch and off for MTSY lab test. Shall not talk about it. Such a disappointment. While waiting for the time to reach 5pm for us to go night photography, me, lijing, joan, qiuyi , zhao wei, which later on followed by joanne, went to railmall's coffee bean to have a good hot double chocolate with marshamallows over talks. a perfect day to chill in for a cooling weather, don't you think? (:

Went back to school by 4 plus for briefing and took transport to head to Esplanade. Dinner @ makan sutra FUCKING EXPENSIVE and started our photog session. Reached home by midnight.

and now i'm shagged, cranky and sleepy so I shall bid goodbye and goodnight. Another long day tmr! Wake up in the morning for YOG briefing, meet ruiying for flea marathons and ... (:

2010-07-28T13:33:00.003+08:00

up yours to those who think they are so fucking big and cool in school and can step other people's head like nobody's business.

Stop acting like you know everything and be egoistic when your dick is as small as your fucking brain.

_|_ _|_

2010-07-27T20:18:00.002+08:00

The reason of silence is when the heart hurts so much and there's nothing you can do to withstand the excruciating pain and burden inside.

The only way is SILENCE .

2010-07-27T15:42:00.001+08:00

sekolah, semakin hari semakin sial.

macam sial.

2010-07-22T23:29:00.004+08:00

p.s He lost 7kg (:

My dearest beloved brother finally is back (: Lovin' this moment where everyone's together as a family. Had family reunion just now.

I'm gonna treasure each and every moment with my loved ones for I will not know when will the last time I'm gonna meet them.

2010-07-21T23:29:00.001+08:00

At times, jealousy strikes but I know I shouldn't feel this way.

But then again , I'm just a normal human being.

Tomorrow's gonna be a big day for my family and especially for my dearest brother for he will face another bigger challenge in his life.

2010-07-20T14:59:00.000+08:00

How can people not like this song?!
this is by far, heaven ♥

2010-07-18T14:44:00.006+08:00

Friday highlights - studio photography. I'm starting to love my course :>

Baby's performance at lt26

Saturday highlights: hooked on flea at the arena

thanks to baby and rui ying for helping me out the entire day and it was all worth it! Met a lot of people and the vendors are all friendly. Will be looking forward to book other flea booths . heh exciting (:

Slacked around and we got to watch fireworks but it was being block by buildings wtf. Went separate ways. Chris tagged along with my family while ruiying headed home as she got straight train to her house. Sent granny and aunt home back first before heading to my house for dinner. Mum bought baby chicken briyani and we had late dinner, watching incredible tales. I love family bonding! Glad to know he's comfortable with my family members and that he met most of my maternal side (:

Was a great weekend, spent with loved ones, friends & family.

Sigh, looks like this week gonna be the last week I'm going to be free. Next week onwards, gonna be busy with kenduri, YOG, photoshoots and hari raya shopping. tell me when can I spend time with chris? :<

Tomorrow's gonna be another week of school. 4 more days till brother's return. Can't wait. We all missed him dearly! Things gonna change for the better and I can't wait for that.

till then, xx

2010-07-13T23:52:00.002+08:00

Despicable me 3D with chris, qiu, jayni, ryan, azwan, hakim, ierfan, zhao wei, lester and AK was impromptu yet worth it (: The movie was awesome and omfg I love AGNES! super cute. ahhhh adorable!

This week's gonna be busy too! Done with I&E yesterday and it wasn't bad but we could have done better. Good job still to my group members. Left with AVMP soldering (like forever) and flash photography which have to be submitted on Thursday and Friday respectively. haven't even touch any shits yet and it's already Wednesday. Gotta chiong through. This means, no softball cum Pat's birthday dinner later on :/ why must fun things clashed with my assignments?! if there's only a pause button in life. >II

Lessons so far was okay. Got back results for this term like finally and I did not do super well.

*disappointed

MTSY: 68%

Video Tech - 94%

DMPT - 74%

hopefully can do better for exams! better be since there's more time to study due to YOG. Hope the torchbearer event won't eat up too much of my time so I can still study(:

After everything's done, can resume back to work! Ahhh now I started to miss work heh. Be back soon, for sure and $$$!

Gotta sleep now. nights y'all.

2010-07-08T00:35:00.002+08:00

k feeling at ease now. Thanks fellow softballers for cheering me up. Yes, i'm just too hard on myself I guess. I should throw my unnecessary ego from now on.

I love you guys ♥

can't wait to meet each and everyone of you at next training!

now I can finally sleep with a smile (:

2010-07-07T23:25:00.002+08:00

Get me pink kitty mannnn.

Too many things to say & hope I can list down every single thing and not missing out any.

First up, great disappointment to myself. Sigh, virgin softball match against SP earlier on. Already planned not to play due to first day menses and was feeling cocky. Since there were not enough people (too bad softball in SP is much more popular compared to NP's), I had to play in, decided to be left outfielder and 7th batter. Either was I too stressed or nervous, I was jammed during the second bat. UGH! Instead of '3 strikes, you're out', we played 2 strikes as lack of time. & yes, 2 strikes indeed. Didn't get the chance to bat ! -.- totally not challenging at all & i'm just disappointed. Please have more matches! Gonna strike them next man!

well, on a happier note, we won them 11 - 2 despite us not having any coach & we were only half of them. Good game, spyroz! (: proud of each and every one of you. & thanks to in who taught me new skills to throw the ball far and other useful techniques & oh your HUGE gloves. Though, you may be an irritant at times, you still have your gentle side. chey.

I've finally took a break from work. Seriously, couldn't cope between work, softball and school. Will only resume work during term break. Glad to have an understanding manager (:

Steve Madden, I'll miss you but not as bad as river island heh

OH! gotten a booth for 'hooked on flea' @ arena next saturday 17th July. So girls (guys, if you want to), please do come down and support (: Your presence will be greatly appreciated. Of course, not only my booth will be there, other popular blog shops will be there too! so yeh, please make yourself free just from 1-7PM & pay a visit there. Trust me, everything will be pocket friendly (:

Can't wait for school week to end. Looking forward to weekends! coz knowing that I ain't working anymore, I can finally go out with chris just like how we used to be. movies, dinner, picnic, basically spending time & enjoying each other's company. Just because we are from the same sch & course, that doesn't mean we often hang out. Weird aye? well you see, we don't sit together during classes. Me and my clique, he with his. Even during breaks, similar too. The only time we met and really talked abt our day is when we are going home. weekends, both working. Seriously, we're in need of quality time and this Saturday gonna be worth every second spent (: I love you , baby.

Aight, time to hog on the phone now!

2010-07-03T23:21:00.003+08:00

Had 3D image-making during VT yesterday. super cool. HAH! now I can turn you into 3D ^^ How cool is my course aye ? hehe (:

Work was mad rushing and busy today! Cocked up at first. Went to ISETAN when Anny told me to go to steve madden ION instead thne huang min told me to go back ISETAN because some were on MC. After break, went back to ION -.- As usual, ISETAN's quite slack and sales were not doing as good compared to ION's. After break, went back to ION and damn, the whole 2 hours and a half, non stop action climbing here and there for shoes ! Imagine, memorising 3 different customer's shoes and have to take them all out with different sizes and designs ! Salute myself* lol . Supposedly ended at 6PM but with the sudden massive of customers (always happened when I wanted to go off) , I had to attend to them first. By 6.30PM, I told myself to just stop, stay inside and better get changed before things got worst. I've made the right move (:

Met Adel after work to pass his shirt. Damn, have not met this guy for nearly a year and we got soooo many to catch up. Since time didn't permit us, we went separate ways & bid goodbye. Such a short and nice meeting after so long. More catch ups soon! (L)

Well, after a whole shitty tiring day of work ...

*screams! Hahah look at the date man. It was sent on 17th June and I just read it just now!

lol. Totally can't wait for the journey! Thanks YOG team for picking us, one of the 2400 participants

to bepart of this memorable event (:

Time to sleep now! Gonna be a long day tmr. 6 hours of work and off to Resorts World for

musical with love and friends! Can't wait (: Have an awesome weekends, y'all !

2010-07-01T23:24:00.004+08:00

*dead tired* finally done with AVMP project and DPG project 1! Left with presentation tomorrow and getting back VT results. Relieved to know that everyone passed and most of us got an A (:

& seriously, was thinking real hard, I should quit working. I have reasons why I work. Honestly, if it's not because of the mishap and our careless mistake, I swear I won't work unless in River Island. Well, just have to sacrifice but after much thought, considerations and calculations, I can don't actually work and have sufficient money (: All thanks to tutoring. Extra income !

Well, lets just tahan for a month and can fuck off.

Softball training yesterday was the longest I ever had. Ended 10PM. Practised batting with alloy. Hahah super funny la pls! My position all wrong and yes, like cartoon but hey , there's a first in everything :D but was fun training with him and the rest ! I should start practising before the match on Wednesday vs SP :O

I&E flea market will be on 12th July at Convention Centre, so please do come and support ! Thanks a lot. Speaking of which , might thinking of renting a booth at Arena for 'Hooked up flea mart' but might be working on that day FUCK LA. I should just give 2 more weeks and FUCKING QUIT i tell you. Ate up my fucking weekends -.- I should not have be so eager to work man . What was I thinking :/

Okay come back, so yeh, opening up a booth there on Saturday from 1-7PM. Hope to bring back some hefty income (:

okay seriously fucking tired now. nights!

2010-06-30T00:08:00.002+08:00

hehe vain :p

Finally done with AVMP! Phew, thanks to HuiMin for her guidance (: Next, DPG and I'm all done for this week! Got back MTSY paper and I'm truly disappointed with myself. Not that I studied much for the paper as I admit I focused more on VT, but at least give me an A-. I got a B+ instead. Irritating brains and careless mistakes! I swear I never know when can I stop making careless mistakes . sigh* Anyway, just hoping for better marks for VT. Just an A please :( whatever it is, I know I'm starting to cope well and I realized I did much better compared to year 1 where mostly I got a marginally passing marks , C all the way.

Gonna sleep pretty soon. Super tired and shagged. Lessons at 10AM tmr. Fuggg.

2010-06-27T23:15:00.010+08:00

seriously need more time for DPG project shooting. Damn. Where's nice places in Singapore to shoot awesome photos?

Sch's officially commenced tomorrow but I have no lessons but have to come and meet the I&E group members for project discussion. Then probably do some shootings and come back to school again, meet up with softballers before heading for training.

DMPT test on Tuesday and have yet to revise -.- So many things, so little time.

10 mins to one month hahah not that we count how many days we are together, it just so happened that we actually realized it (: So there you go, happy one month, christopher gerard grosse. You know I always love you(: ALWAYS. xoxo

2010-06-26T00:01:00.002+08:00

FUCKING TIRED!

how can I ditch nice cold rainy weather for workkkkk -.- but hey. I did went for work in the end. Haha mad rush for late breakfast with chris♥ at macs and head to work. This time round at ISETAN. SETAN betol! Imagine working with bunch of CHINA people. Seriously, SERIOUSLY, not being racist or what but their english is like barely understandable, even the spelling! Supposedly, 'stationeries', but spelled as 'stationaries'

Honestly, I felt so out of place but luckily gonna be only 2 days working there and can finally transfer to steve madden. Already opted to work weekends and my manager's being such a sweetheart, allowed me to be part-time weekenders heh and can still earn quite a lot ^^

Die man if I'm gonna work weekdays too. Weekdays already tight with softball, I&E project and tutoring. Where got time to work siolszsxzs

Speaking of which , I missed softball. more days till softball practice! Awesome much (: & finally Tuesday can get back common test results (: still need to finish up DPG, probably on non working days, sunday and monday that is. & fug! AVMP too

Aight, gonna get some rest now, or else I'm gonna be dead tired tmr standing like a statue, in between of chinese-speaking people -.- irritetek to the maximum! hope God will make the time specially faster tmr for me heh k pls!

Hi baby! why must your stupid IPHONE spoilt at this moment! TSK. Anyway, If you're reading this, just wanna tell you that I love love love love love (5 times coz 5 is my favourite number) you so much! 7 mins more till you end work but that doesn't mean you can come online right away. MAJOR UGH! I'm dead tired and shagged and sleepy so I think I'm gonna head to bed pretty soon, like after I published this post. Just miss call me if you've reached home, so I know you're safely home, yeh? Anyway I'm starting work at 10 tmr and ends at 8pm. So my break will probably be between 1-3PM, you can call me between that time or come down and meet me for lunch (even better) heheh ,bring your lappy in case waiting for me for sooo long! Bring my water bottle too :( fill in water for me! yay thanks! Hope to hear from you soooooon.

Lots of love, hugs, kisses, bullies, spanking etc etc etc

your princess.

2010-06-23T23:10:00.006+08:00

First day of work at new work place wasn't that bad at all. Only 5 hours of training and serving. Since I have the experience, it was kinda comfortable. Me and zu started the same timing. Morning shift people need to do replenishment, as usual and was having brain jam on where to stuff all the shoe boxes when there were lack of spaces. Was fun climbing like a superwoman for shoes hehe ^^ can certified being a rock climber. hahah sudahlah!

I managed to sell some shoes today, yay! Wasn't that bad at all, only that the way N01 and SM1 stacked up their shoes and arranged them is so different compared to river island's. I had to memorise the shoes' names and find it accordingly. Unlike RIs', we search them by reading the product number. I guess, much easier and faster that way but I can understand that RI's main apparels are not shoes, so that explains why.

Ended work at 3.30.Met chrisssss ♥ and went to have late lunch at far east's puncak. Walked around, took bus to clarke quay and did some random shootings. Till now, I don't know what theme should I do. Haiya, suggestions? :>

Oh btw, I feel that the Clinic's bar is so fucking cool with the concept of hospital. Should chill there with the rest one day! I'm amazed how the owner might came up with this creative concept!

School's reopening soon and I seriously need to juggle up my time well with school which ends at 5/6 almost everyday, I&E project, softball, tutoring and work! SIAO, tell me, how 24hrs/day is enough?!

2010-06-22T20:03:00.003+08:00

Proper updates.

Saturday -

Tutoring commenced. My little cousins were at Shirah's place doing some artsy work, haha how cute. Maths tutoring and she's good at it. I won't have to restart teaching the topic from basic since she understood the topic, well. Only here and there, was there careless mistakes. Ahh, as usual! Finished tutoring, joined the kiddies to draw something. Seriously, this crayola set attracted my attention. Drew 'Chissy the elephant' for Chris and a lil note(:

Advanced Father's Day celebration. Dined in at Nuradee's Chicken Champs, located at Arab street. It's western food, so I rated it 7/10. Good service but the food wise, just so so. Not so expensive, so, do have a try(: Afterwhich, we felt like having some desserts. So we stopped by at Kampong Glam Cafe. Like said, their brownies are totally FTW. Bought cheese marble brownies and normal chocolate fudge brownies. 3 bucks per slice, I know it's rather ex but seriously, worth every penny. 'Finger Lickin' Good', I promise you! Oh! we did catch a glimpse of NDP rehearsal when mum passed by City Hall area !

Sunday -

Met Chris for DPG but end up just chillax the whole day haha. Apparently, my theme was 'There's a child in everyone' and I'm supposed to take kids shots but ended up, we were both lazy to shoot. It was end up a 'Lazy Sunday'. Went to have early dinner at Vivo's Banquet. I didn't eat much, wasn't really having the appetite. Just ate Rojak and Dark chocolate. Awesome dark chocolate drink. Definitely thirst quencher. Walked around and decided to chill at kaya toast at harbour front. There we go. Had our old school coffee talks tgthr with Kaya toast with butter. I know it was an impromptu day but we still had fun over our never-ending topics. Haha that's why I love you!

Monday -

The day I've been waiting for to finally (not really) get to talk to bro. Since only 3 persons were allowed, me, mum and aunt took the first visit. Sigh, once we stepped into the room and saw him, my heart sank. I can see it in his eyes. Was filled with pain and sorrows. Hang in on there, abang, it will be sooner than expected. For those who havent come across this:

"To those who knows Hafiz, not too worry, he's doing well, still hanging on there. He sent his warmest regards to all and he misses each and everyone of you. He'll be back sooner than expected. Alhamdulilah. Things will get back to normal soon. He asked you guys to take care of yourselves and he loves each and everyone of you. do keep the prayers coming in. God bless you all* ♥"

Yeh, he's fine (: Thanks for the support and concern. I miss you abang :(

Tuesday (today) :

Went for job interview, accompanied by yan and credits to nazurahhhhh for recommendation. Met at 2 plus and headed to orchard to grab a bite first at ION's burger king. A lot of catch ups need to be done with this guy and yeah, I hope I did update you with most of the things I needed to say. Off to Wisma for interview at ninewest. So delighted upon seeing rahamoy(nazurah), lol it's been such a long time balls! She looked cute as ever :D but we didn't really get to talk coz she was busy entertaining customers and doing stock take. I was told to wait but soon after that, the manager called me out to the next store and there it went, my interview. Guess what ..

I FUCKING GOT A JOB! she asked me to start by tmr morning hahaha but I was told that the part timers usually are not suppose to stay at one store, they have to move around. The stores are just walking distances except for one at Raffles City. My first day will be at Ninewest since it's just training after which, she decided to put me in Steve Madden instead. Omg omg omg omg omg. Steve Madden ♥ & can get free shoes (not really) if we worked there for like half a year, cool or what. Plus, the pay also includes commission . Awesome much. Alhamdulilah!

Hope the colleagues are all nice and friendly :) Oh River Island's just opposite Steve Madden hahaha :p

Can't wait for my first day of work tomorrow hehe . After that , meet RY, pretty pls! Need to get my piercings done.

Now, Chris, hurry come back home, got good news to be shared xx

2010-06-19T23:44:00.002+08:00

I know, I just miss my curls. Too much. Like how I miss my brother, well nothing beats more than this. Monday, hurry come.

1 more down, I guess? It hurts to know the fact that I would still be pinned down even though it's not my fault. Seriously, you still wanna blame me in this when you were the one who started all these shit and now trying to cover up so as not to face the blame? So what now? I have to face the consequences when I'm not at fault? & I have to bring down the friendship too? If that's what you want, I guess you have it. Thanks for messing up my life and everything else.

I hope you do realize that true friends stand up for one another, stand up for your friend's rights and not change the whole fact that she's at fault when she's not. & to put your friend at shame when she don't deserve it so all the credits can go to you. So you can outshine when she's holding back to take care of your feelings.

That's how I feel. Certainly. Things are still ambiguous now but it's gonna be vivid sooner or later. Whatever it is, I still treasure you.

Shits happened. From betrayals to backstabbing to losing people I loved/trust to wrecking of my family. What's next?

2010-06-18T21:07:00.005+08:00

Totally, what a day. Whatever it is, I shall not elaborate more but to that psycho motherfucker, if you're still continue disturbing my family and stalking us, we will not hesitate to report this matter to the police and charge you as harassment _|_ psycho. Super psycho. Pity you to have a pathetic life. Get a job so you won't be as free to do all these, horse.

Thanks love for saving me and come over quick. Or else, things won't be the same. Thanks mum for coming home earlier too and thanks to everyone who cared and offered help.

Watched Do Re Mi with Chris while waiting for mum to get ready and did her prayers. Went to fetch dad and we had dinner at west coast. Brought back a lot of memories for Chris.

Fulled & home sweet home.

Just finished writing letter for my dearest brother. Gonna meet him soon and I shall collect all my strength before the day comes. I shall not cry in front of him(:

2010-06-18T00:17:00.003+08:00

Finally, done with DPG outdoor workshop! Ahhh mission accomplished . Wait, not really. Still have DPG project 1 to deal with.

So anyway, here's some pictures from softball camp. I should have attended the whole three days if not for DPG assignments which due this Friday. Sigh :( Nonetheless, I had so much fun just in one day! With the girls and the rest of the softballers.

Met RY before heading to where the rest were. Aloy brought us to our sleeping place which was at one of the Block 5's classroom. Out of the 4 rooms, our room was the tidiest ^^

Since we were late, we need to do forfeit. "CAMP TENSION" -.- okay okay, whatever it is, got done over with and then the fun came in.

Had night walk at Dairy Farm at 1AM which lasted all the way till 3 plus AM. Yes, fucking tiring! but everything is super worth it. We need to walk 2 by 2 please! boy and girl, that is. I was together with bin! Haha super funny, we were like holding hands almost the entire journey. All thanks to the muddy, soggy soil, all-kind-of-sizes rocks & any other obstacles related to this. Of course, along the way there were unexpected noises here and there but better keep our mouth shut. Haha, lucky the checkpoints from one to another was not far. Creeps here and there but we endured. lol well, I've already missed the fun the night before so I would not want to miss this out too! Before that, we played captain's ball using veges, namely tomato, brinjal and lettuce. I know right! But still, fun filled with smelly shits. Not forgetting, the standard game of all, water bomb! ♥

Walked back to school & another super creepy moments. However with the presence of more than 20 people, the tension and pressure was not that high(:

Had mac supper back in school with lots of gossips & ghost stories with the girls together with aloy. The stories scared the shit out of me! :/ Patricia had super a lot of ghost stories so last night or rather this early morning, she was the main story teller of the day . Heh !

I managed to get 15 mins nap and woke up, flour on my hair and face. Must be Aloy, for sure. -.-

Time for me and RY to pack and head to our respective places. Hers, assignment, mine sleep awhile and out again for shooting. Fucking shagged.

Woke up at 12 plus, get ready, met zak to get external flash and off to locations.

Lau Pa Sat with love for dinner! & we talked damn a lot today. So many things happened in one day! Chris's first day of work and my softball HALF camp :( Both our days equally awesome. Him, looking forward to next working day, me on the other hand, looking forward to next softball training (:

To softballers, I had fun with you guys though it was a short one for me due to lots of assignments and shits but whatever it is, we managed to have fun and talk a lot and we bond well this time round (: To ruiying, si ying, patricia, jacquelyn & jasmine, I love you girls and yes "what happened/told in camp, will be stayed in camp" ! To new friends, whom were friendly enough to initiate a convo with me, thank you so much and you guys are nice bunch of people. Let's all look forward for upcoming training! ♥

2010-06-15T23:58:00.004+08:00

More or less done with DPG shots. Left with few more and I'm finally done. Halfway packing my stuffs for softball camp tmr. Like meaningless please. I'll be going at ard 5 or 5 plus and will be going home the next day, morning. Then have to rush again to continue shooting. Life's awesome much huh

Chris finally gotten himself a job at Udders. *insert happy face* congrats man! See, I toldcha. Credits all goes to me coz I helped him get the job one, actually. Hahah, nah, his outspoken and bubbly characteristics made him ace the interview smoothly (: schedule's flexible and the manager understand that he's still schooling and all so she gave flexibility. Manager's nice too, can easily talk and joke with her. Seems to be more girls than guys, as usual . Haha majority chinese, as usual & they all looked super friendly. So there you go, not much of worries. Quite of chillax job. Plus point! 2 stops away from home! WOOOP WOOOP !

home sweet home next with hearty talks along the way. Sigh.

Dinner with mummy and daddy , share about our day and home. Gonna continue packing my camp stuffs tmr. Rui Ying, you better dont be late! xx

2010-06-14T20:44:00.003+08:00

Up to date equates 4th day of hell. I know he's doing fine in there, despite the place. I seriously, misses you. The rest too misses you as badly. Days are passing, tears are rolling, just come back soon.

Life still goes on for the rest of us. Updates.

Friday - Outdoor Digital Photography & Graphics with the class and our lecturers. Went to river valley areas to do our shooting. Learnt quite a number of things. First time entering Saint Andrew's Cathedral and it's very beautiful(: However, was rather disappointed with myself for not producing up-to-standard pictures. Wasn't a good day for me. Thanks for coming home with supports from aunties xx shall not elaborate more

Saturday - 2nd day of hell. Solemn, however life has to move on. Aunties came down and pay us a nice visit. Brought lunch over too. Thank you so much. After which, sent them off and me and mum went to vivo. Before that, pay a visit at one of the aunt's house to keep me updated on shirah's results. Pretty satisfying (: tutoring will be commenced soon. Dinner + groceries shopping and home sweet home.

Sunday - 3rd day of hell. Both my parents were at home. Had lunch at Lot 1 and spent the rest of the day at home.

Earlier on, went for PPP talk and seriously I've wasted like 3 hours of my time today -.- Firstly, I was told to come at 9AM and when I came in, the trainer told me to come in the afternoon instead. Fuck no. Ended up, the class was bigger than expected. Their fault for giving us wrong info. The talk was rather useful though, about how to prepare ourselves before going for an interview, how to write resumes and things related to those. As usual, was rather dull. Other than that, was all pretty okay. Chillax at 23 tgthr with chris and zak while waiting for lucia finished up her project. Once done, zak and lu parted, leaving me and chris alone, watching glee and sang to some songs (: That guy never failed to crack me up with his nonsense. Much boredom, we left and spend the rest of the remaining time at my house instead. Had a good laugh looking through my baby photos. Ahhhh paiseh* But it was all good aye. With all my imaginative childhood stories, haha ! Not long later, mum came home and time for chris to go home. Time for me and mum to break our fast. Bought food at pasar malam together with daddy. Couldn't stop complaining how hungry was I. lol

This week is gonna be a hectic and rushing week. Couldn't attend first day of softball camp. Have to mad rush finishing up my DPG stuff. Waking up early in the morning tomorrow to do some shootings and then to thompson for job interview. As for Wednesday, softball camp till thursday. Thursday itself have to rush home, take camera stuffs, met zak to take external flash and out again to do shooting. CRAZY -.-

Friday is already the deadline.

By the last week of holiday, I better start touching on my AVMP soldering. After finishing my works, only then I can rest and meet up with friends. Sigh*

Have a fruitful holidays y'all.

xxx

2010-06-11T18:52:00.003+08:00

Please leave my family alone for the time being to adapt to changes and swallow current sorrows. For those who knows us, please do pray for us. For those who know nuts, I'm sorry but sharing of little prayers will be nice.

Things will be put on halt now until things are more or less settled. There goes my softball camp but my family is my number one priority.

Thanks for your concern and understanding. May God bless you ♥

2010-06-11T18:16:00.002+08:00

We've went through happiness and shits tgthr for the past 18 years.I miss your teasings,I miss my cheeks got pinched,I miss our late night TV shows over junkfood,I miss your silly nonsense,I miss your craps and jokes and we will laugh our heads off,I miss every single thing about you and most importantly I MISS YOU.

Outsiders may say shits about us but we fuck care them.They may hate us unreasonably for fuck we all care.But we stand strong,still because in the end we are WINNERS.We fought our rights all the way till the end and we admitted defeat if we fail but we NEVER give up.I know I'll be seeing you soon and I shall wait for the day to come.i miss you so much ♥

Why do you leave me so soon? why they take you away so soon? Rmb those times where we were young and did so many silly stuffs tgthr yet we enjoyed them? I miss your teasings, I miss your contagious laughter, I miss our arguments where you always wanna win, I miss it whenever you pinched my cheeks, I miss whenever you asked me how you looked like before you go out, I miss you asking me your opinions about clothings, perfume etc, I miss watching late night TV shows with you over junkfood, I miss us talking crap & laughed our heads off about it. Most importantly, I miss YOU. Come back soon.

Lots of love and care, your little one ♥

2010-06-10T01:50:00.002+08:00

Looking at him packing his things these few days have been a real torment for us. He's gonna leave for real and there's nothing we can do about it but to let him go. When he's back, I'm sure he's gonna be a responsible, wise, respectful bold man.

In God we trust. We will forever be in your heart. Bring us, wherever you go for we will surely misses you and love you.

Always and forever,

your little rascal ♥

2010-06-09T01:14:00.001+08:00

waiting for honey to finish studying. In the mean time, keeping myself stuffed with gossip girl ♥

hurry baby! (:

xxx

2010-06-08T21:39:00.002+08:00

Left 20% more to sum up MTSY and I'm done. Officially done by 5.30PM tmr and that'll be my relief. Baby came over today to study together. In the midst, we watched Seniman Bujang Lapok together with daddy over junks (L)

Baby left my place by 7PM and it's dinner for us. Thanks for the company love (:

Glee and Gossip Girl have been steering my attention away from MTSY. This is so unbecoming. I will continue with MTSY like soon after I finish blogging!

Can't wait for Ananas brunch tmr with dearest. We lovin' the cheap deals. plus it's good. Totally irresistible! (Y)

Having the company of your loved ones will never make you feel bored. In fact, it makes you much more energetic and alive & feels that 24hours per day isn't enough.

Just like how I love being with my boyfriend (: who doesn't? ;)

I love you baby, more than ever you could imagine.

xxx

2010-06-07T21:41:00.003+08:00

need sth to cheer me up.

1 down, 1 more to go. VT was expected. Skipped chromaticity diagram, thinking it won't came out but it did. A 4 marks question to be missed. I managed to answer the first part, so another 3 marks gone. But that's not too bad right ? well, it will be bad if I made a lot of careless mistakes along the way.

MTSY next. Will be restarting the whole revision back again , from topic 1 to topic 4, that is. God bless me. I have like 1 day and a half to cramped every infos in my head. Hope I will do well for this paper though I heard by far, this is the hardest paper to score. Why not be the first ? YUH I WISH -.- unless I've been constantly revising this shit since the beginning of the term. For now, hoping to be the first to score well is 60 percent impossible.

Totally excruciating.

Hope to receive good news by Linda, calvin klein and united colours of Benneton.

Now, you guys better be good. Thanks.

Joe Hisaishi Live performance - Howl Moving Castle Main them

2010-06-07T20:16:00.001+08:00

beautiful and genius ♥

How I wish I can play piano like him :/

2010-06-07T00:17:00.005+08:00

Procrastination have been running wild lately, yet I managed to cope it somehow or rather (:

With the help of lounging music and other beautiful music arrangements which do just good. Other than that , my attention level was diverted to things like TV, glee, gossip girl, FOOD & not forgetting online shopping.

First paper gonna be tmr and I guess I'm totally on for it (hopefully?). Last minute revision, perhaps in late morning to revise again, with the accompany of Chris. Hopefully things will still be fresh in my head so I won't need to rewind every single shits I've been through.

MTSY will be next, a disaster, it won't be and it'll be a total wind down after common tests! Looking forward to softball camp and maybe a successful application of job? It's more like "I don't need job. I need money." If only life is that easy huh

Been wanting to revamp my room with montage of pictures, be it polaroid or not. Ever since DPG, it intrigues me to scrounge my interest in photography. With the guidance along, I will eventually pick up new things to apply on. Current canon isn't a great help without its accessories. I need to save up for new lenses and external flash. Probably getting a polaroid myself too since it's much more instant and user-friendly. Just what I need(:

For now, just chillin' and let things come on the flow.

On other note,I'm missing you, Chris x

How To Deal (2003) - part 10 (last part)

2010-06-06T15:16:00.001+08:00

My favourite part of the movie. When Trent Ford and Mandy Moore finally confessed. Sweet ♥

Last song : That's when I love you by Aslynn

xxx

2010-06-06T01:19:00.002+08:00

10 hours of MADNESS revision. Hope test will be all good. Gonna turn in real soon

" .. loving you have been the most wonderful thing I've ever done to my life and I will continue to love you cause I've always say this and I'm a man of my words. Come what may, I will love you till my dying day. You are my love and you always be my love :) "

I guess I will be smiling to sleep tonight (:

just for fun, peace, joy and laughter (just a figure of speech) this was so last year siol. Or was it early this year ? whatever it is, this was year one. Those were the time -.- i swear I don't understand wth was I saying. Was during lesson and was just bored:/

NIGHTS XXX

2010-06-05T18:11:00.000+08:00

"I would rather hurt myself than to ever make you cry."

xxx

2010-06-05T01:35:00.003+08:00

Tonight I just feel like writing what I feel deep down . This is what applicable to me. As soon as I get those feelings brushed out from me, hopefully I will be much more concentrate on my upcoming tests.

Give me some time to lift myself up.

I have been down for the count

And all my self pride is gone like the winter
Fresh like a flower I shall come alive

A compass gone blind
My heart's unsteady, hoping to dance on the wire
I move a little bit and take it back
Run away but with a map
Always returning and turning and turning

I keep running, and running, and running ...

Over up that hill
I'll find my peace, I will, I will

Love, come to me slow

2010-06-05T01:20:00.004+08:00

God still loves us and gave us chance to reflect back on things we've done and what are those that we need to mend on. One more week, that's all we got and things will come to confirmation. Thanks, the Great .

Happy things will eventually comes to an end , or at least for now a break. I knew this will happen, it's just a matter of time. Things will be put on trial for a limited(or rather expected) time and then break loose. I've yet to understand things in bigger perspective. As time passes by , I hope I eventually will. Whatever impressions people have towards me, lets just be it and stick it that way coz I have no much say in this . All depends on individuals. For now, I shall just let things comes by and manage them bit by bit. Independence. Confidence. That's the current spice.

All the best for the upcoming tests.

xxx

2010-06-04T00:00:00.001+08:00

Few more hours to judgement.

We'll be by your side, in your heart always and forever.

God bless you.

ily ♥

xxx

2010-06-03T01:53:00.004+08:00

AWESOME POSUM. like finally after few hours of studying, I understood OPEN CV coding, how to sequence and edit them and recently, covered how to read HTML codes! Already covered the calculations for matrix Y,Pb,Pr, memory size, bit rate, illuminance etc hope it will stick in my brain all the way till MONDAY please.

Anyway, here's a quick recap of today. Went to UCC after VT lesson for our stage management lesson. Great! me and yan finally overcome our batophobia. Yes, fear of heights hahah seriously, climbing at SAS is way better. At least they have handles to hold on to. Compared to UCC, it is mainly just the bar to climb without any handles. Super unsafe but managed to climbed all the way up. Was shivering siahhhh lol but nice. Awesome experience . K not say awesome but good. Got the chance to pull up and down the flybar, leg and borders.

Afterwhich met love at NUS engineering block and we took a long ride to CCK, shopped at cotton on since got sales hahah and went for dinner. Home sweet home.

My beloved grandma came over to sleep at my house due to some personal family reasons. Talking to her for nearly an hour was a nice feeling. She got so many things to share and her stories never fail to entertain me (: sigh. The family and friends are all worried for Friday's case. Hope everything will be alright. Again, in God, we trust. Through ups and downs, we will go through this hand in hand.

Will be giving school a half day or a miss on Friday to attend this important event. It's like a win lose situation now. Hope things will go smoothly and miracle will happen which will be like less than 50 percent ? We are all patiently and anxiously waiting.

For now, I need to concentrate on my upcoming common tests.

& seriously UP YOURS especially to someone who forever wants to have unreasonable issues with me when I did not even affect any part of his life even a bit. Seriously, get a life. a BETTER one, perhaps. Like what the fuck do you know about my life? You ain't know much about me . No, you even barely know me. What fucking rights do you have for so much say? up yours.

nights y'all

xxx

2010-06-01T23:25:00.003+08:00

Owed pictures which were supposed to be uploaded earlier before. Here's them.

This was the day Chris proposed to me. Yes, Henderson Wave. Decorated with balloons

was told to pop the pink balloon, rmb? as it is my favourite colour and there was a secret message

inside. Here's the popped balloon (:

So yeah , past few days was busy doing shoots here and there and finally

got over with (:

Can concentrate on two major topics now for common test.

Well, lessons was productive as I was paying more attention compared

to before , all because CTs are coming real soon and time to wake up.

Nothing much to say. Feeling super fucked up right now.

He's one in a million, someone whom I've been wanting and need all these while.

He brings joy to my life and he meant the heavens to me.

I will never ask for anything more coz God brings me the greatest and awesome

person in my life.

Even if in the future, we won't be together for some reasons, he will

forever be treasured, cherished and kept close to my heart.

Please, make this the last and make me his first and last (:

Baby, if you're reading this, I want to tell you that I did not make

a wrong decision of having you to be my boyfriend because I love you genuinely.

You're my sweetest devotion, Christopher Gerard Grosse (:

xxx

2010-06-01T12:32:00.002+08:00

When you smile, with those eyes, baby it's like you place a finger on my heart

And when your lips next to mine, make me think maybe heavens where you are (:

ily ♥

2010-05-31T22:10:00.002+08:00

Finally, done with I&E meeting, which ended up only 2 of us turned up. Already managed to send in undone tasks, left with only one. Done with DPG. So, now finally can concentrate on MTSY and VT common test paper which will be next week! Gotta get over with Stage Management's assignment too :/ wonder what time will I sleep today.

Went to Lower Peirce Reservoir to snap some pictures but wasn't a satisfactory coz of the wet weather. At least got the feel of trekking. Heh, been wanting to go for trekking badly !

Oh btw, was editing my account settings on FB just now. Been wanting to do it but kept forgetting. Due to KAYPOH people out there, I've finally privatized my photos, videos, links, especially my BLOG. ugh, just keep comments to yourself la pluhlease -.- so now, hopefully things will be at ease. Just let me be, let me free. K thanks bye.

Gotta mug now ! Please, a good GPA to be attained (L)

xxx

2010-05-30T23:42:00.003+08:00

awesome hair!

Loving the colours of the polaroid picture.

Line Coding! :O

All time favourite - Spicy Tuna Linguine

Wish I had this kind of bed accessories back then

deprived childhood.

PINK CUPBOARD!

been wanting this lamp man :(

shallow DOF plus motion blur? heh

Pretty chandelier.

Mugged at Holland V's Coffee Bean. Finally covered about half of MTSY's topics! Understood the shits. Took some time to understand Line Coding -.-

Been so long since I've last stepped on Holland Village. It still looked the same and still chillax as ever (: Love the coffee bean there as it feels so homey! so we stayed there for few hours before heading out for out photography sessions. This time round, indoor. Still need to get my white balance right and the aperture priority right too. Went to IKEA as it was nearby and it has been quite sometime we both last visited IKEA.

Both a big fan of IKEA! Seriously, I can't deny the fact that IKEA is a total genius when comes to home furnitures and design. So simple yet it looks accomplished without having so many other fancy things around . Well said of " You don't have to be rich to be clever" heh (: true much.

Chris bought wall clock. Super cheap , for only $2.50! plus the battery only costs 5 bucks in total. Nice and cheap - irresistable! Walked around here and there & a long ride home.

That's my Sunday. Half an hour meeting tomorrow for I&E and probably accompany Chris to Turf City for his job interview and full throttle revision shall commenced (:

xxx

2010-05-29T22:59:00.004+08:00

outdated pics(still got more, will upload soon)

Kate Nash on the stereo(L)

Well-spent Saturday with mummy and brother. Woke up, caught final concert AF8's second telecast on Astro Ria. I'm sure I'm not gonna miss it ! Well I know I've watched it a billion over times on youtube and even live in KL but it's not the same when you get to watch HD on TV okay! Firstly, the arena seats were not as expected. We sat like 7480202490KM away from the stage and youtube is obviously not clear to watch . So to fill up my satisfactory to optimum level, lets watch all three altogether heh (:

There goes my starvation. Haven't had proper dinner the night before and what more, no breakfast at home. Plus AF on TV, I have to forget bout my hunger for a moment. Got ready and went out to eat at Makan Shiok . Had black pepper fried rice and butter prawns. YUM but my appetite's still being a bitch and my cough too. So, felt like puking after that -.- bumped into eddie and his mummy and his brother. hahah been years man! thanks to FB (:

Afterwhich, I need to get done over with my DPG. Mum brought me to this place - hilltop, located at Jurong Bird Park. She said there have a nice view at the hilltop. Yeh right, all I can see was buildings, highways and a lot of construction sites -.- nevertheless, I got to snap some awesome shots. Thanks to bro for helping me out to become a model. heh got myself a close to perfect motion blur shot and motion freeze shot under shutter priority mode. Got shallow DOF under aperture priority but still want to take more shots of that. Maybe tmr or Monday, else I got not much time to shoot already.

Had chocolate fondue at swensen's after shooting and cosmetics shopping ahhh (L)

supposedly going to JB for dinner and accompany aunt and uncle and cousins to visit relatives but they planned the timing too late. Mum couldn't make it as she had errands to do early in the morning tmr. Worried that she will have hard time waking up punctually, she cancelled the plan. So yeah , was home early on a Saturday.

Baby was having fun at town, shooting, dinner and chillax together with Zak and Lucia. Gotta hang out with them soon man! can't wait :D

I just got to know common tests are just round the corner. Less than 2 weeks time and I haven't even start a serious revision. I better start on either VT or MTSY (probably VT coz it's the first paper) tmr morning, by hook or by crook. Where's a nice place to study ? was thinking of Holland V. but then again .. Ohwells, let's see how it goes tmr (:

I love you Chris Grosse (eventhough you always sweat like a pig hehe PEACEYAW) (:

xxx

2010-05-29T10:58:00.001+08:00

I swear, he's awesome.

xxx

gonna go for shoot soon! :D

2010-05-28T23:48:00.003+08:00

So today , was indeed a V-good day. Heh despite the wet weather and minor fucked up things. Met love at Yew Tee MRT before heading to westmall to get some junks and took 106 to Botanical Gardens. We missed our stop, so we have to cross over and took 77 instead. lol, already wasted like half of our time but that won't stop us.

Upon reaching, we found ourselves a spot and lie our picnic mat. Of course, first thing, EAT! heh, mummy is such a dear to fried for us egg noodles and sardine sandwiches. I made tuna sandwiches and brought some crackers, ivan's mum's brownies and awesome brownie coated with chocolate biscuits! heh , did some DPG shootings but we were so lazy to move around and take photos plus it was going to rain. Left by 7PM as I need to be prepared for the surprise.

As soon as I went out from the toilet, I was told to be blindfolded and listen to some music. Thank God it was phoenix. heh and was led into the taxi. First plan rather failed coz the taxi driver had no idea how to get to the 'surprise' place. Since I've been there before, so, no choice, I have to help. Heh, so I told the taxi driver the direction. Finally we've reached, but not exactly at the place. Have to walk like 2.1KM to reach. Heh, exercise at the same time (: Feels all gooooood.

So when we were reaching the place, I was told to blindfold again. This time round, things started to go smoothly. Few mins after that, TADAAAA! Balloons on string! & the pink balloon was the special one. since it's my favourite colour. Chris told me to pop the pink balloon but I'm scared of popping sounds hahah what a noob. So he did it for me, and pop! got a hidden message which reads ...

"To my babylove, Faezah (:

You took my breath away when I first saw you. I fell in love with you the moment I met you. But I didn't have the chance to work on this love because you were attached. So I thought, why not be as a friend as I could be. In a span of one year, we became the bestest of friends. And till then, I hadn't realise how madly in love I was with you. And when I finally told you, it was one of the best decisions of my life. Things may have been up and down for us but it has finally settled. I feel happy. Genuinely happy in my life now. You make me the happiest man Faezah. And I want to make you the happiest person as well. Come what may, I will love you until my dying day. So with this, I ONLY HAVE ONE QUESTION TO ASK ... "

Tears can never describe how happy we were & yes, we are official(: like finally, I know! hahah Thanks a million to Chris' friends, Ivan and Basil in making this day happened. Thanks to those who never failed to support us all these while. Im touched to know a lot of people actually love seeing us to be together. That's sweet, really. Thank you so so much. OH! there were even people taking photos of us! How sweet. I hope they will post up somewhere and by chance, I got to view them and upload it here. Heh, but slim chance :/

I hope this relationship will lead us to many good things in the future and be a blissful one(:

Pictures will be up soon, probably next week coz the cable is not with Chris now. Ohwells. I'm gonna embark in a new journey of a matured love life (: but then again, education now is still our first priority (:

I LOVE YOU CHRISTOPHER GERARD GROSSE. infinity thanks in making me stand up for who I am, once again. For believing in me and for being there for me all these while and in the future to come.

xxx

2010-05-27T22:32:00.004+08:00

Finally done with AVMP (partially though). Was one of the slowest in class to finish up the waveform. Sigh, well at least finally my LED circuit could work after the 5th try (:

Totally can't wait for tmr! What will be the surprise be? hehe as told, it's not gonna be Vesak day for us but it's gonna be V-good day ! It better be (: So yeah, plan was to go for picnic, shooting, light up candles! With balloons and other pretty things ! & having to spend time with dearest the whole day just makes everything perfect. I hope it's not raining tmr so we can spend the day outdoor and can play kite! heh

Groceries shopping with love after school was fun! I was so whiny and I bet Chris was irritated by my fickle-mindedness. Ohwells :/

On medicine now, so gonna head for an early night!

xxx

p.s It's such a bliss to know that there's actually some people out there who are sincerely happy to see us being together and to even get their hugs as a form of congrats and happy for us. Seriously, thank you so much for believing in us and supporting our relationship. You guys are the sweetest and I love you people (: God bless you all (L)

2010-05-26T23:09:00.003+08:00

Went to the clinic in the morning with mum's company. Woke up feeling all sore :/ bad sore throat, swollen face, aches here and there, still coughing and flu. My number was 17 and it was only 1 when mum registered my name. Luckily, I was still at home, bathing so could rest for awhile then come down to the clinic (:

Had pancakes for breakfast. Ahhh after so long and then mum fetched me to school. YES! have to attend STM class just because there was a test just now FML much. Met Qiu, studied awhile and then Chris came. Headed to class with minor presentation and off for our test. Lucky we ended earlier than an hour and I headed back to atrium to meet the rest. Couldn't go for training as I was still sick. Hung around in school for a little while and home sweet home.

otp with rui ying and a lot of stories shared lol just got to know it was last training just now coz common tests are around the corner and this is freaking me out! I haven't start my full force revision yet. Gotta start probably by this weekends man. Or else ... sigh I should seriously stop procrastinating !gonna miss softball for sure. But two weeks won't really kill me that much :)

Now feeling kinda drowsy and tipsy due to the meds. So I shall take my rest now. Lucky lesson starts at 2PM but as usual, have to come earlier to finish up my undone work :/ it sucks to be slow!

xxx

2010-05-25T16:39:00.001+08:00

I think it's time for me to begin writing little notes like how I used to do (:

xxx

2010-05-25T16:01:00.003+08:00

Our so called fav 'model ad' photo, heh.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST NEIGHBOUR, AWESOME FRIEND, CRAPPY FRIEND, GOSSIP PARTNER, MAKE-FUN-OF-PEOPLE-PARTNER, MOST IMPORTANTLY, A COMPANION. MUHAMMAD SUFYAN BIN SANUSI (correct right? ^^)

May you have a blissful 19th birthday and stay drugee and lepak. love you bro!

gotta concentrate in class now. heh

xxx

2010-05-25T00:09:00.004+08:00

Okay I'm not crazy or obsessed but I'm just a big fan of Shahir AF8. So, before I sleep, just wanna share something here. HAHAH i know right i'm so ... haiya no words can actually explain :/

he's such a heart throb :D handsome right he ? heheheh :D

Okay okay I think I should stop now. enough of AF8. I have to step back to reality that AF8 is officially over . I used to miss AF7 when it was over and not really interested in AF8 coz haven't really feel the excitement yet. As days passes by , I tend to know the 12 students better and since then, I started to follow them up. I was impressed how Akademi Fantasia worked. How they brought in drama, act and dance together in singing. They believed singing is NOT just purely singing. It involves a lot of emotions and movements. The way their mentors taught them really opened up my views on arts especially singing. There's more to singing.

For 3 months they stayed in Akademi, they learnt a lot and brought back priceless experiences that could not be shared with others. Lucky bunch, indeed. They are friends and family there. I can understand how will they feel during the last day of Akademi to be parted from each and everyone of them.

I hereby declare that I'm from Singapore and a fan of Akademi Fantasia. It's a good platform for newbies to begin or rather learn more about singing. It's not about winning, it's about the experience you will bring home in the future. Priceless. I miss AF now and will look forward to their next season next year.

Goodnight y'all.

xxx

2010-05-24T21:43:00.003+08:00

Dearest is all alone and sick at the clinic now. Sigh, Get well soon honey. I'm sick myself too but I don't think it's as bad as Chris'. At least I can still breathe properly. How can he not fall sick? Weather's already killing us, super hot and humid. With addition of smoking reds will obviously kill him even more -.- Seriously dude, quit smoking ! Or at least slowly reduce it.

Missed softball today :( will go for training on wednesday. Hope I will be well by then. Or else ...

Qiu is sick too. Ahh it seems like people are falling sick. Must be due to the weather and lack of rest, I supposed. Well dearies, take care of yourself. Drink plenty of water!

Will be meeting Chris tomorrow in the morning to check on him before heading to school since no one is monitoring him at home. Shall pay a quick visit. Heh (: Hope that will make his day and will get well pretty soon!

Revision now :/

xxx

2010-05-24T16:22:00.002+08:00

Feeling so sick today. Woke up, feeling all weak and shits. With bad dreams of us :( Continuously for 6 damn hours. Fortunate enough to wake up to his call and told him every single shit that happened in the dream. Sigh , shall not elaborate more. I love you baby & that's the fact you need to know.

Coughing and sore throat have been killing me since morning. Just got back from the hospital appointment and listened to Dr Matthew's explanation made the whole case much more clearer. I've decided to just go for the drainage operation instead of surgery. Either ways there will be side effects. He gave me some time to think about it really carefully. Personally I feel that I don't need any more time to think coz I've been spending most of my time before this thinking about it . There's no point going to and fro hospital and end up to just leave it that way. My decision is clear . I'm going to remove it and I'm going to undergo the drainage process. Whether it's gonna be painful or not, that's another question. Now, I just want everything to go on smoothly and I trust the doctors.

God bless me. The earliest procedure will be most likely on June, which is next month. I'm going during the school holidays so I won't have to miss lessons etc. Gonna be strong for this! :D

No school today. Still, have to revise for upcoming stage management test on Wednesday. Hope I will be well by tmr and can go to school (:

Time to rest now.

I miss you, baby!

xxx